(via iheart-ph0tos)
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Woman:
Can I have birth control?
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Government:
No.
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Woman:
I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
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Government:
No.
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Woman:
I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
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Government:
No.
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Woman:
Well, why can't I have birth control?
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Government:
Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
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Woman:
But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
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Government:
Too bad.
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Man:
For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
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Government:
Do you have a penis?
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Man:
YES, YES I DO!!
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Government:
WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
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Government:
But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
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Woman:
But-
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Government:
Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
“The Washington Redskins are prepared to part with two first-round draft picks, plus other selections in the early and middle rounds, to secure the St. Louis Rams’ No. 2 pick in April’s draft and land Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III, according to people with knowledge of the situation.
But Washington faces competition from the Cleveland Browns, who own two first-round picks —the fourth and 22nd overall — in this year’s draft, and Miami, which picks eighth this year.”
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